To commit, or re-commit, that is the question

Some exciting news!  I will be writing monthly for the Cedar & Soul blog.  If you missed November's post, I have posted it here!

The photos that follow were my outtakes from the shoot I did for the Cedar & Soul website.  This is the founder of the CS site, Megan Peters and her wonderful husband, Landon.  They are one of the sweetest couples I know!  Enjoy!

Each and every Sunday service I became accustomed to the the pastor’s invitation, “For those of you who would like to re-commit your lives to Christ, please raise your hand.” I would feel a wave of fiery annoyance come over my body as I squinted enough to see who was re-committing their lives, yet again.  I honestly wish he would have just added the word “again.” Us pastors’ kids knew the hand-raising-regulars and made a sneering game out of it rather than recognizing the authentic and heartfelt courage it took to re-commit to this faith journey.  

These days I find myself entering a different kind of “church.” One which looks more like a yoga studio on the top of Queen Anne hill here in Seattle, Washington. In today’s class I found myself in the warrior 2 position, front knee bent. As I continued to the next pose, reverse warrior, the teacher added, “As we move to the reverse warrior, re-commit to your bent knee.”  Although a different church, I found myself responding to the same invitation, to re-commit. I looked in the mirror, noticed my 34 year old self, glanced at the position of my knee, and sunk down just a tad deeper.

Commitment 

In latin, commit means to join or to entrust. The added “re” means, to return to. I began thinking of all the ways I commit myself to people and to practices. When I enter a friendship with someone, there’s an unspoken commitment that is made. I’m promising to be there, to support, to listen, and to try and bring my authentic self to the relationship.

I also commit myself to my body. Even as I write that phrase, I notice the tension in my lower back and pause to place a heating pad on it. This body has weathered many storms and ran up countless hills. It can and does speak for itself when I get quiet enough to listen.  I commit to eating well, to working out, and listening to my bodies anxious cues.

I commit myself to God. What does this even mean, right? Well, I imagine it means something different for me than it does for you. I commit myself to believing that this flicker-of-a-flame faith, held somewhere in my body, produces enough warmth for me to love on Steve, my favorite homeless man, who knows my name and smiles at me every Wednesday.

Prone to wander.

One of my favorite hymns, “Come thou Fount”, has a verse that tackles my heart every time I hear it.

O to grace how great a debtor

daily I'm constrained to be!

Let thy goodness, like a fetter,

bind my wandering heart to thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

prone to leave the God I love;

here's my heart, O take and seal it,

seal it for thy courts above.

Could this be true? That my heart is prone to wander and prone to leave my heart felt commitments? What a sobering reality, right? That after years of getting to a place where you can finally commit to that partner, that eating habit, that new way of thinking, you find yourself wandering back to the doorsteps of your tiresome past.

I travel a ton around the world, and there’s nothing more sweet and tear jerking, than witnessing a lover returning home to their love. To Re-commit means to return to. What a glorious moment to observe and even more glorious to take part in. Re-commitment invites us to take part in our own lives, dare we miss the subtle yet life changing moments  that move us from warrior 2 to reverse warrior. Re-commitment activates us. We are invited to make a choice, again, and again.  I invite you to make that choice, and to re-commit yourself to whatever part of you has been wandering.  My hope is that your commitment will bring about an authentic, faith-fueled splendor, equally as glorious as that of the returning lover.